My Dysfunctional Relationship with Money
I’ve figured out that I have a dysfunctional relationship with money. This hasn’t come about because I’m inept or unsuccessful, it’s apparently come about because I’m a woman. According to recent studies most women tend to deal with every other hurdle in their lives other than finances. I’ve got to agree that I must be one of those women.
It dates back to our grandfathers not letting our grandmothers have control of the family finances and even though this generation have more control they’ve never been taught how to deal with it. What’s an option? Is it the same as a share? I honestly have no idea. Do you?
It’s embarrassing to admit this but many women don’t let on that they don’t know. They want to be seen to be coping, to be the super woman and one little flaw (like not understanding finance) will undermine the image of today’s coping-with-anything woman.
I only did my tax last week (and I still haven’t posted it). I did my businesses whole accounts over one week instead of the whole year. I only check my bank balance when I know I’ll be struggling to pay a bill. Yes, the last thing on my mind is my money. Or is it truer that it’s always on my mind but I keep putting it into the too-hard basket? Whatever the case the more I read about women not taking control of their finances the more I believed they were talking about me.
I’ve run a successful business. I’ve kept a happy home and fed two healthy sons. I’ve owned homes and paid out mortgages. I’ve volunteered. I’ve held down corporate jobs. I’ve written four book-length manuscripts and countless short stories and articles. I’ve made time for friends and family, sport and fitness. Let’s just say I’ve been as busy as the average woman. How in the hell am I meant to bother with finances at the end of all that?
The one thing I realise is that I need to make time for it. If I don’t take control no one will. My husband is like an ostrich with his head in the sand. He believes a bill will miraculously get paid if you just ignore it. For this reason we find ourselves struggling with money and I’m sick of it.
So I’m taking control. I’m getting in charge of my own destiny. I have a bit more reading to find out how but I’m on the right track. Instead of putting money last (as much of a chore as it seems) I’m going to put it higher on my list. It won’t come first because my family will always come first but it’s got to come close because doesn’t it link to them anyway. Without money how can I protect them? How can I keep a roof over their head and feed them? How can I safeguard their future?
I don’t want to sound materialistic. I’m far from that. I just need to be less scared of money and then, hopefully the result will be I don’t have to worry about it any more.
Happiness is easier to attain with less stress and one major stress seems to be money. If we could get rid off this one problem would it help us find happiness? I don’t believe it always would but it’s gotta make things easier.
Wish me luck and any suggestions would be gratefully appreciated.