Category Archives: Family life
Positivism can reverse negativity
Change is all around us. One instant in time, the blink of an eye and you can end up in a negative or positive situation. No two people see it the same. Some are glass half full and some half empty.
If something bad happens and you’re sad, angry, grief-stricken, annoyed, frustrated, hurt or a multitude of emotions. It’s a negative experience but what if you turned it positive?
There’s the saying you can’t get any further down so you must go up.
It’s not always easy to find a positive thing but it’s best for your emotional wellbeing if you at least try. My mum always says, “There’s always someone worse off.” It’s an apt saying. You have nothing to complain about when you compare yourself to the heartache others face.
Look at inspirational people like Turia Pitt. She looks to the positive to get through something most of us could barely imagine. She has her wonderful bubbles of happiness and humour, and she’s thriving. Yes, she has more guts and determination than most of us would be able to summon, but if she wasn’t positive she’d never get through it (oh and congrats to her and Michael on expecting their first child).
How do you find a positive in a negative?
Let’s give a simple example. You’re a guy and you lost your wallet (no I’m not talking about you Blake). It’s annoying and it makes you angry. You must cancel all your cards and then wait for new ones. You worry about identity theft and you freak out a little about people sifting through your treasured family photos.
Where’s the positive? You can start laughing because if anyone tries to use the credit card they’ll be denied as you just maxed it out (karma). What if you hated the wallet and your coins always fell out of it? You now have an excuse to go buy a new one. Let’s go one step further. That cute girl you’ve been passing on the street, finds your wallet, hands it back and your hands brush at the touch. Electricity and sparks fly. You lock eyes and a happy ever after love affair begins (okay I admit the romance writer in me got carried away with that scenario, but you get the point).
Think up your own positives to negatives
Negative: Stub your toe (ouch!)
Positive: Swear (that always makes you feel better) look what you kicked your toe on. That old diamond ring you had lost.
Negative: Get sick with the flu.
Positive: You’re not the only one and now’s your chance to recover in bed and be pampered by the family.
Negative: Prang your car.
Positive: No one is hurt and it’s just a car.
Negative: It’s raining and you wanted sunshine.
Positive: It’s been dry and the plants need it (and may prevent bush fires this season). They are doing a happy rain dance. I’d probably curl up with a good book.
Negative: The dog ate your homework.
Positive: Well haven’t we all wanted to use that excuse?
Negative: Your flight was cancelled.
Positive: They found a fault in the plane and you’re are very lucky it never took off (because it could have crashed).
It’s not always easy. Somethings are just too sad (like death and grief). Just try these strategies to get through it and find the more positive aspects of your life.
My own negative thought today is I haven’t had time to blog and keep up with my 365 Days of Gratitude. The positive thought out of that is; the amount of writing work I am embarking on now, is the reason I’ve had no time to blog. Yay me!
365 Days of Gratitude
I’ve missed from Day 191 to today, which is Day 248. I have plenty of gratitude during those 57 days. I have bucket loads of gratitude. Some crappy things have happened (two broken-down cars, an almost fried laptop (yep this very one), but there’s been so many more wonderful moments they outweigh the negative).
- Visits with the grandkids
- A free holiday in Noosa
- Enjoying a writing festival and networking with other creatives (Sunshine Coast International Readers and Writers Festival)
- Meeting writing goals
- A friend recovering from a scary illness
- A visit from my son (he lives the furthest away from us)
- Coming second in a footy tipping comp (thanks Roosters)
- Reading some wonderful books
- My big dog’s lapdog moments
- Warmer weather
- More The Zanzibar Moon sales
- Getting three-quarters of the way through my next manuscript
What are your positives or moments of gratitude?
Day 147 to 165 of 365 Days of Gratitude – Black Hawk Anniversary
It’s been 18 days since I last gave gratitude on this blog. I’ve been grateful for many things in those 18 days and most of them deal with my health and being alive. We should have gratitude for every day we wake and live on our beautiful planet Earth. Lots of people have come and gone since I’ve lived, and I ponder why some left this journey early, while others (such as my nana who lived till 94) stay longer than, perhaps, they would have liked. And, mostly why do some die so young?
I am melancholy about this, as during these days the anniversary of The Black Hawk Accident occurred. 18 of our finest men died in that tragic incident June 12th 1996. 15 were SAS soldiers and one of them was Corporal Brett Tombs, a dear school friend. Many Australians will remember when the two Black Hawks collided over Townsville and how we mourned as a nation when we heard of the tragedy.
I think of Brett and his family each year and wish he could still be here with Gaye (who I also went to school with) and their two children, watching them grow up. It’s one of those things that, even twenty years later, you still don’t quiet believe that it happened. It resonates with me further because two of my sons have been in the defence force (one did three tours of duty). The Black Hawk incident shows that even in peacetime, there is always danger of some kind protecting our country. RIP Brett Tombs and all the young men of The Black Hawk.
You can read this tear-jerking account from last year’s Courier Mail, featuring Brett’s daughter Giverny. Brett would have been so proud of her and his son, Josh. I am grateful for something through that, and that is that his children have wonderful uncles (Brett’s brothers) who love his children and do their utmost to fill some of Brett’s void for them. It’s poignant and bittersweet.
So, for these 18 days of gratitude, let’s just say I’m truly grateful that all my family are safe and that we are here.
Reflect on what you were doing on the day of The Black Hawk Accident 21 years ago.