Posted in Family life

So embarrasing I could hide


I had an embarrassing moment last Saturday. I’ve had many over the years and most of them involve fainting. (Don’t laugh I have an over-reactive nervous system – a GP’s even told me that).

I knew my knee was damaged in some way (thanks to my PT for the long jog along the beach) but when I twisted slightly, as I was walking to my local shopping centre, I knew I was in trouble. My knee not only buckled it hurt, like a hammer had just been rammed into the side of it. I tried walking and barely limped to a nearby bench. I sat for a moment flexed my knee and thought, stop being such a wuss. Just get up and walk. So I did – bad mistake.

Getting light-headed isn’t new to me but I was halfway to my car and halfway to the fruit shop inside the centre and I had to figure out where the safest place to go would be. I made a decision to go in. Tough it out, I thought.

As I wobbled through the doors, looking like a drunk in the middle of the day. Everything passed in slow-motion and I felt clammy and all-round icky. I saw someone at the counter of the newsagency and the colourful lotto and scratchy fliers  blurring into a rainbow. I notice the ladies in the fruit shop looking at me strangely, then I saw a bench (bless it).

That dizzy-sick feeling just before passing out was getting to a point where the only thing to do was faint. At first I just sat with my head between my legs but when the buzzing in my head got worse and I felt like throwing up the avocado muffin I had that morning, I reached for my phone and rang my husband.

“I’m about to faint out front of the Pines Newsagency. Can you come and get me?”

Moments later I came through the buzzing, blurry, cartoon-like fog hearing a male voice saying, “She’s stopped shaking. Is she okay?”

A nice Filippino lady’s voice asked kindly. “Are you awake? Can you talk to me?”

Another elderly voice nearby. “Oh, did you see how many people walked by without doing anything.”

“She’s white as a sheet.”

Meanwhile I’m hearing all this but my tongue is still in LaLa land and my eyes shut (though I could still see cartoons – really!) Finally I mumbled, “I’m okay. I just fainted.”

“We’ve rung Centre Management and they’ll call an ambulance.”

“No, don’t need them. My husband’s coming.” Then to my total mortification I started crying. Yep, crying from the embarrassment of the whole situation. So much for toughing it out.

Finally, (actually quite quickly) my husband arrived, thanked everyone and said to them, “She does this a bit.” Frankly, I haven’t fainted in at least a year, but guess as far as fainting goes I’m more regular than most people.

Usually after passing out I just need to stay down, sometimes for hours, until I feel better. But due to being in a busy shopping centre (and being embarrased) I was ready to hightail it out of there asap. My husband propped me up and off we went to the car. I did send him back inside to get the beans and broccoli my health-conscious son had requested (and my reason for walking on a bung leg in the first place).

I’m thankful that during the experience:

  1. I didn’t pee my pants in public.
  2. No one I actually knew saw me pass out.
  3. I found a bench instead of the floor.
  4. There we people who helped me (thank you lovely ladies and gentleman) and ‘up yours’ to those who walked on by.
  5. My son actually got his beans and broccoli.

So what embarrassments have you endured?

Other awful Donna moments include:

  • Forgetting a good friend’s name (call it a nana moment).
  • Getting a short dress caught up my bum at a nightclub showing way too much wobbly arse. (Thanks girls for letting me know.)
  • Calling my dog by my son’s name.
  • Calling my son by my dog’s name.
  • Dressing up immaculately to go to work and having slippers on my feet (I was pregnant at the time).
  • Forgetting to strap my son in his car seat (he was 9 months old) and hearing him thump on the floor as I went around a corner (he wasn’t hurt one bit but I cried my eyes out and rang my husband to say I was the worst mum in the world).
  • Wetting myself from laughing when my husband tried to tell a joke with props (a camp chair), got his foot caught and headed face-first towards a hot barbecue (luckily he missed it).
  • Being caught dancing and singing to awful eighties music by my children.
  • My youngest son telling me how many grey hairs and wrinkles I have.

So let me know yours.

Posted in Uncategorized

Blog writing – should you do it?


The latest craze on the web seems to be blogging. Should you blog or not? The Macquarie Dictionary explains it this way:

blog(say blog) noun 1. a record of items of interest found on the internet, edited and published as a website with comments and links. 2. a personal diary published on the internet. 3. an online forum. [shortened form of web log] –blogger, noun

It can, of course, be as the dictionary describes it, but if you want to make an impact for you or your book, it needs to be so much more. You need to set up a blog that is effortless to negotiate, easy on the eye, informative, interesting and fun. There are so many now that it’s getting harder and harder to stand out.

Your content has to reflect you. It doesn’t have to be like a true diary. Don’t give every little detail. You only need to write about what you want when you want. But, you also need to be careful about your content. If you don’t want to offend anyone you need to be cautious of racism, sexism, swearing, plagiarism etc.

Don’t write anything you are uncomfortable with. If in doubt leave it out. You can write about your family but remember this is a world-wide web. Don’t publish information about where you live or where your children attend school. Keep your private life private. You never know who will be a voyeur in your life. The idea of a blog is to portray who you are but safely.

If you are a writer the natural thing to do would be to write about writing. That’s okay if you want to do so but don’t be limited by that. There are plenty doing just that already. If you’ve seen a magical sunset and it made the start to your day happy – write about that and explain why.

Other suggestions to write about are:

  • A recipe your family loves.
  • The nicest thing anyone ever did for you.
  • An awful moment you’d rather forget (but writing it will help the process).
  • Your faithful dog.
  • The school you went to as a child.
  • Why the smell of baking bread makes you smile.
  • How much you want to make the next diet work.

To create a following, once you find one subject that you’re happiest writing about, write about it regularly. You need to find a niche to keep readers interested.

There’s plenty to write about but what’s the one thing missing from that list? It’s your book, business or product. As often as possible talk about it. Why did you write it, produce it, etc? Where did you find inspiration? What was the process? How long did it take? How does it make you feel to be a published author?

Set up a separate page for your book or product. Explain where to buy it and any other relevant information. You can also make it your avatar instead of a picture of yourself or you can just place it in your text often enough so plenty of people to see it.

Always have your book title or product as a tag (even if it’s not mentioned in every story). Make sure you have a link to where it can be purchased such as http://www.zeus-publications.com or Amazon.

The easiest way to understand blogging is to get started. Most of the blog sites have features that let you choose from design templates that you can add your own photos and information to. They also provide widget to allow other bloggers to subscribe or link to your site plus much more – videos, podcasts etc.

To get people reading your site is on a par with getting people to reading a new book by an unknown author. You need to work at it by reading other blogs and commenting on them. This way they may in turn look at your site. You can also attach your blog to your website and search engines.

I suggest you link it to your Facebook, My Space, Twitter and the like. By printing your blog address on all your stationery, such as business cards, bookmarks, letterheads and invoices, you’ll be putting it out there for people to log on to.

If you publish an article include the blog address in your bi-line. Tell friends and family.

I’ve been using WordPress because it has some terrific, templates and is user-friendly. Setting up is simple and free. There are also Blogger (the official Google blog), MSN Spaces, Yahoo 360 and AOL Journals. A warning though – blogging can be addictive.

I recommend you stop when:

  • It interferes with real paid writing.
  • It stops you meeting deadlines.
  • Your family has forgotten who you are.
  • Your dog goes next door to eat.
  • The grass is so high you can no longer see your fence.
  • Your teenage kids have forgotten how to use MSN because you hog the computer so much.

This was originally posted in the my Zeus blog at : http://bookszeus.wordpress.com/

I have changed a little of the content to suit the layman.I thought it was worth sharing because many people are new to blogs.